In my work with my clients over the last three decades, I've been observing the patterns of people's lives in order to find out how life works best. What do people do in this often difficult world to make life as easy as possible on themselves, yet still have a great life? How do people organize themselves to be productive and creative without stressing out or tearing their hair out.
At the same time, I've been observing the built in features of how people are designed, and at this point in my life, I think it's rather obvious that if a person wants to live a satsifying life, there are a few missions that must be accomplished.
Your Missions (Whether You Choose To Accept Them)
You’ve got to Protect yourself
You've got to take care of yourself (sometimes these are not the same thing)
You've got to make something out of yourself, using the resources available to you
You've got to connect yourself with others in order to gain the benefits of community
You've got to be of service to others so your place in the community is secured
Add all these together into a unified person and you have a highly functional human being capable of achieving great things. Leave one or more out, the result is different, darker, and potentially dangerous.
Consider these examples.
Just try to make something of yourself without taking care of yourself, and see what happens! You’ll burn out, and even if you achieve your goals, you won’t feel good enough to enjoy it.
If your concern is with protecting yourself without connecting yourself to others, well, you’ll be alone and exposed when danger comes along.
Try caring for others without taking care of yourself and there's a very good chance that you'll wind up resentful and angry.
Try belonging to a community without contributing to it and you'll likely be tossed out or ignored.
That's Where Coaching Comes In
The problem is, if each person has to figure all of this out on their own, you will spend most of your time reinventing the wheel without making much progress. What I"m saying is, it helps to have help. The key is to find people who know what you need to know, who know how to do what you need to know how to do, and let them advise you. If they have the right experience and the right approach ,the result is that your life gets better.
That's the key. The right experience and the right approach. I'm both a life coach and an executive coach. Been at it for a very long time, so long that back in the day, we didn’t have a name for it, and we did it anyway. Now there are thousands of people calling themselves coaches, but too many of them are just doing somebody else’s formulas which they learned in brief (online) courses. I think, in coaching, experience should count, if you really want to make it count.
You will get the best results if you work with a coach who is experienced. The other thing to look for is someone with a diverse skill set. Because coaching isn't about following formulas, it's about knowing what skills to use and how to use them. A good coach should have deep knowledge of what makes people tick, insight into the challenges and problems of love, work and life, and know how to navigate through the tough times, how to find opportunities, how to change things for the better.
The Cost Of Coaching vs The Cost Of Hoping
Does it cost to work with a coach? Yes, of course. But cost is relative. The real question you need to ask yourself is this. Will the value you receive be worth the cost? Will you get enough of a return from an investment in yourself? You should answer that honestly because, while these are tight times for all of us, you can’t afford to be complacent. If all you do is what you’ve already done, you will only get what you’ve already gotten.
Is it worth it to you? To give an honest answer, consider the cost of doing more of the same.
Got bad habits getting in your way? What does that cost you when opportunity knocks?
Stressed out? What does that cost you in health and ability?
Game changed and you have to start over? What will dealing with it on your own cost you in time, money, connection and creativity?
One last bit of advice.
Before you choose a coach to be your committed partner for change, I recommend that you interview them and find out if they're a good fit. If they're wise, they'll want to do the same.
That's what I invite you to do with me. Find out if coaching is the right choice for you by talking with me.
When you know you can use some help with your life or your work or your relationships, when you are ready to take advantage of having an advantage in life, use the contact form to send me a message. I’ll be in touch to schedule your first consultation, and then we'll decide how to proceed from there. Our first conversation will cost you nothing. And It could change everything. I'm Dr K, inviting you to make a change today!